i stay up all night with the stars and sleep with sunlit clouds cascading down my back.
In Honor of Spatial Silence
i stay up all night with the stars and sleep with sunlit clouds cascading down my back.
i stay up all night with the stars and sleep with sunlit clouds cascading down my back.
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Monday, October 29, 2007
this bottle is bringing me down
"vomit free since '93" - Ted matty-boy - who has been my little baby darling ever since freshman year (i refuse to use the word 'frosh') - is growing up and turned 20 on saturday. as is custom, we forced him to take us out for a round of drinks, an aphrodisiac platter and calamaris, and since anthony arrived more than hour late, we made a pact to get him drunk. we succeeded and enjoyed the way he would skip to the toilet and wave his arms in the air. drinking with guys is always an experience i find amusing. not only do they get more abusive in their name-calling but they also seem to think that since i am a girl they must make indecent proposals towards me. they were kidding obviously but no one should aspire to makeout with me, that's just wrong. and having guys yell 'fuck you' towards your general direction all night long and then send you off to your car with 'fuck you whore' isn't very lovely (people shouldn't cuss, very unattractive). this is why i won't date them. anthony's an exception - but obviously it just won't work out between us. anthony's my 'let's-get-high-and-wave-our-hands-side-to-side-and-eat-chicken' buddy. we even gaily sang along at the top of our lungs to the pink men on stage singing Aerosmith and cheesy lovey/heartbreak songs. and when you're high (i refuse to use the word 'drunk' because it connotes the image of head-over-toilet-bowl-puking-guts-out, and i was far from that) from countless hellbangers, martinis, beers and the godzilla icecream thingy, you should never ever touch your phone. all the poor random people i texted must have thought me psycho. you know who you are, my apologies to you all. heh. i promised them that i'd upload the pictures, so here they are. i should get myself a multiply account, my blog is fast becoming a picture book.        happy birthday matt, you know we love you. 7:45 AM
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Thursday, October 25, 2007
robin sparkles
i went to my dentist today because i've been having this horrible toothache for the past week (due to the all the sweets i've been eating) and was told that i need surgery to remove 3 of my molars. lovely. i seriously didn't need to hear the word 'surgery' after having my teeth drilled and filled for the past hour (this is what happens when you fail to properly care for your perfectly straight set of teeth). i also didn't need to hear my dentist smile under her mouth-covering-piece thingy when she mentioned 'surgery'. here's how it went down, me: (looking at my teeth through a mirror as she pokes/scrapes/taps on my molars) dentist: this is impacted, that is impacted, that is growing at a weird angle. you need to have them all removed. me: now?!dentist: not now, i need to book you for surgery first. (she should have added 'silly' at the end) i felt her excitement boil over at that point as she gaily approached her fellow dentists to ask for their opinions. having three dentists stare down your mouth isn't something i found exhilarating, especially when one of them is this annoyingly-attractive-spiky-haired dentist who you overheard openly claim to love 'Gilmore Girls' - considering that my other guy friends abhor that series, him giving an exegesis on one of my favorite episodes makes him so much more crush-able. but having your mouth wide open with that sucky-thingy hooked to the side sucking out all your saliva isn't very attractive, and so at that moment, as i attempted to sink further back into the chair, i wished he wasn't working today. i should refrain from gummies and mentos for awhile. 1:14 PM
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Monday, October 22, 2007
eleanor rigby
the following story, written because i got bored and just wanted to blog about something, has nothing to do with me...or does it? i think i've developed the habit of concealing proclamations of interest within my blog posts. at least no one has picked them up yet, so that's good. i'm such a loser that way. silly rigby. Rigby's my new name. call me rigby, it makes me giggle. --------------------------------------------------- So Strange I Remember You before it melts and slips down your throat, you quickly savor the tingle of sweetness on your tongue, that delectable cushion upon your palate, the itchy grain of a sugar moustache as you wipe it clean. you fixate on that moment; you feel your lids close, wishing you could just lay your head against a shoulder to rest - contentment rushing through you. but the hit of sugar stabs your mind awake, gently nudging you to look up, to notice him. but you refuse. you would much rather remain in this moment, undisturbed, caught in the lure of your own thoughts - images you wish would happen, but not. i won't look up, you tell yourself. it's hard isn't it? forcing yourself to not move with each breath. the taste lingers, but soon my dear, it disappears - just like how his arm had once accidentally brushed against yours, a prickle of hair sweeping across your bare arm, and then none. like then, this will last just a moment - or as long as it takes for you to devour the box in front of you - but always, always, leaving a bitter aftertaste. you have to keep feeding it, to fend off the bitterness. always sweet, you say. it doesn't happen that way. look up. --------------------------------------------------- when you start using donuts as your central image, that means it's time to eat them. krispy kreme, i'll visit you soon. save a hat for me.  --------------------------------------------------- i finished 'The Road' by Cormac Macarthy today, if you haven't read it, read it dammit! funny how i can manage to read that in one sitting and yet fail to finish most of the novels required for my major classes (Don Quixote and Hamlet are prime examples). also funny how i managed a 4.0 for my paper on Snow Country - a novel i didn't finish (i probably only read 1/4 of that). this shows that my new power hour does me good. 7am is the best time to start on papers. everyone should try it, it'll be legendary. 4:40 PM
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Sunday, October 21, 2007
tiger lily
watched cine europa with the ex earlier, and it probably isn't an experience i want to repeat. i still can't understand why i keep shoving myself into into his life when i'm clearly not wanted. i thought hanging out as friends would be fun, it really wasn't. it was awkward. conversation was dead, we kept getting annoyed at every little thing, he didn't find me funny anymore, we could barely walk beside each other...it just wasn't like how it was before. shangri-la used to be our place, it's where we've had most of our dates and we even have our favorite corner tucked somewhere near the art galleries, i guess i shouldn't have expected anything. what we had before died when we ended. two words, that's all it took to end a friendship. sure, we still regard each other as friends but the best friend i once saw in him is now gone. which makes me sad. it's funny how you can spend two years of your life calling him your best friend/darling (or whatever silly names we came up with) and now, despite everything you both have promised, can barely look each in the eye. relationships are just plain absurd. we should all just never fall in love so great friendships won't ever be ruined. i really should stop blogging about him, it's getting boring. 'The Leap' was a lovely movie though, that saved me from completely tagging this day as a waste. also finally bothered to purchase 'The Road' (the novel needed for my fiction writing class) and so far it's good. "you forget what you want to remember and remember what you want to forget." - The Road ------------------------------------ the party on friday was interesting. i didn't trip, so that's good. i now have blisters on my feet due to the stupid heels, so that's bad. the food was yum, which is always good, and the place was pretty , all those lights and plants (my descriptive skills has went to bed, thus the telling rather than the showing heh) and the chef...i heart the chef. whenever he would walk past i'd go, "Yes Chef, right away chef," ala Hell's Kitchen. i probably annoyed him a great deal and if the food hadn't already been served, i'm sure he would have spit on mine. but whatever, i had fun. i didn't really enjoy the whole ballroom dancing bit though, especially getting dragged by mom to dance with my cousin who eventually passed me to the dance instructor who swirled me around like a fool and made me cha-cha-cha to the worst re-mix tape in the world. my feet ached after one song and still he wouldn't let me sit. all my brother did, while i was being held against my will, was laugh and point in the most evilest manner his demureness would allow. wonderful. he's lucky he's huge, if he wasn't mom would have probably yanked him up his seat like she did to me. and this is the only decent picture my brother took all night. i always look uncomfortable in a dress. which is the truth. i had to keep pulling the dress up all night for fear of exposing myself to a hall filled with un-remembered relatives.
and yes, you have the permission to laugh, giggle or react however way you please. 2:56 PM
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007
milk, cereal and charred burger patties
i just found further proof that i am not girl enough. today, as i went dress shopping in shangrila, i was stupid enough to not notice the zipper and thus proceeded to squeeze myself into the dress. i got it past my arms but it just wouldn't go down my boobs. stupid dress. at that point, as i held my arms up in an odd angle, with the dress crushing my chest, i cursed my boobs for being big enough to get me in such an awkward situation. i seriously didn't feel like walking out of the dressing room to ask for help, considering that i really don't fancy the idea of flashing my fats to unsuspecting shoppers; and accidentally ripping the dress by forcing myself free just wouldn't sit well with my card. but somehow, by wiggling my shoulders, i managed to free myself from the tangle and that's when i noticed the zipper by the side. stupid me. this is why i don't wear dresses. they are such a bother. it's a pretty white dress though, which mom made me model for her the moment i got home, even forcing me to raid her shoe closet. she then commented how she wants her two girls to be all dolled up for the party on friday. funny. i think i can doll myself up all i want but the clumsy-chuck-wearing-jean-loving girl will be still be present and thus will (and i mean WILL) trip because me and heels don't go along well together. but somehow, i do think i'm capable of looking all girly, i just don't really bother half the time. though i probably won't wear the dress anytime soon (once the party is over), at least i'll have something to wear when a guy asks me out on a date to some pretty fansy pansy restaurant where we can sit across from each other and whisper sweet nothings. 'sweet nothings' is a funny term. to me it equals silence. so therefore, we'll simply be staring at each other in awkward silence and wonder why the hell we agreed to even go on a date. the concept of dating amuses me and now i adore scooter from beauty and the geek because it amuses him too. he mentioned something about not understand the concept of dating. like how when someone's in a relationship, they'd say they're dating someone, and yet there are these dates that people go on...he just doesn't understand how that works [i probably didn't phrase this right, but whatever]. right there and then, i wanted him to jump out of the tee-vee screen and kiss me. i think i'm more drawn to geeks or the odd than buff jocks, perhaps that's the reason why the quiet guy at the back of the class slouched over a book always gets me. that's just great. that's my new favorite phrase. it's just fun to say. 3:05 PM
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007
grazed knees and a picture laden entry
this is going to be one of those entries where i'm not even going to bother to try and delve into memories that make for an interesting creative non-fiction practice piece, instead this will be relatively mindless. i'm having horrible menstrual cramps, so i really am in no mood to do anything except be pointless and embrace the fact that i have yet to begin reading Proust for tomorrow's World Literature class nor have i started on my paper on Don Quixote. i just love being lazy. i crave ben&jerry's ice cream, someone please buy for me. on saturday, a few of my classmates and i dropped by powerbooks' warehouse in the hopes of purchasing new books - we didn't buy any. personally, i was too hungry to really bother to hunt down stuff and was also distracted by some of the funny titles and coffee-table books that we found.  we hold the books as if they're awards. the book i'm holding says: "if God already knows, why pray?" i laughed out loud when i came across the book. considering that my name alludes to a section in the Bible, i really shouldn't have laughed.  look how blushed we all are. i censored this picture because people really shouldn't be forced to see what they don't want to see. we then proceeded to have lunch at TGIFriday's at Fort where my tummy was well fed. i love big portions. must be why i'm so chubby.    justin found a new love in our waitress carla. all that roaming around caused us to be almost late for our own poetry recital, but whatever. 1:06 PM
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Sunday, October 14, 2007
set the fire to the third bar
i'm reluctant to get close to people. it's not that i don't want to, it's just that i feel i'm incapable of attaching myself to someone long enough to feel their eventual absence rub my heart raw. this has nothing to do with friendships or romantic endeavours, it has to do more with the realization that others are capable of grieving over someone's death because they truly would miss having the person around, as compared to me - grieving because i never got to know the person. distance separated us for years and as i was thrust into this strange new environment, surrounded by relatives that have long faded from memory, i found myself smack in the middle of his illness. news of their arrival didn't excite me as much as everyone else. i hardly knew them and a part of me felt guilty for having had forgotten them. i was aware of their existence but i never bothered to initiate contact, even though dad apparently sent them updates and pictures of us growing up an ocean apart. they knew and cared more about me than i probably bothered to. all i could muster from memory, when told of his condition, was how he once took me down to this little patch of garden they kept just behind their apartment and attempted to introduce me to all his plants. i wasn't paying attention. i was eight, freezing from the bite of the morning air, and frankly was more interested in exploring the rest of the city. what was so interesting about plants anyways? but he wasn't really talking about his plants, he was really trying to get to know me. when you're eight, you have this stupid notion that you have all the time in the world to get to know people, and right then you'd much rather head down to the park and feed pigeons. besides, i hadn't encountered death at that age and never really fathomed the idea that one day the voice beside me would soon fade. but despite my non-existent interest, the sweet eight year old me indulged him as he moved on to talk about the architecture of the buildings. i guess he knew better. he understood the vast distance that separated us. he knew this would be one of the last times he'd see me as a kid. he knew that once puberty kicks in, he'd never get to talk to me this way again - to get me in a garden and indulge an old man despite the freezing air. he was right, i never talked to him again - except for the customary christmas and birthday greeting. when i hit my teens years, i lost all ability to converse with them - i just couldn't relate. when my dad would call them and force us kids to talk, i'd be pushing my brother to be first. i hated the awkward silences and how they always seemed to mistake me for my brother (was my voice really that low? or perhaps my brother just had a girly voice heh). i also had nothing to say to them. i felt that they wouldn't really understand whatever i said anyways, and frankly i had a hard time deciphering what they were muttering. besides, my accent probably sounded alien to them. heck, my uncle still finds my accent alien. after this speech i gave during his wake, my uncle bounded forward and exclaimed how he didn't understand a word i just said and went on to explain to our provincial relatives that i had just come from singapore and thus speak strange. that sure made me feel good. after publicly realizing that i suck at controlling my tears, which resulted in me sobbing through my speech in the most unglamorous fashion, i was made to feel as if i was the worst public speaker ever. great. but i digress. point is, if i had just allowed myself to be the eight year old kid in the garden, i might have had an amazing relationship with him. as i sat beside him in the hospital, which was where we met again for the first time, i felt his eyes on me. he had a respirator (i typed ventilator earlier - haha that just makes me laugh) down his throat, which prevented him from speaking, but i'm sure he had a lot to say. probably, he always had a lot to say, i just never gave him the chance. the sight of him: frail, donned in ugly hospital garb, needles inserted all over his body, breathing through a respirator, dumbed me. i couldn't speak, not even to my brother, not even to his nurse who tried to get me to speak. he can hear you know, she had said. i know he can, i just don't know where to start. ...i could do with some orange gummy bears right now. 3:20 PM
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Thursday, October 11, 2007
what's your new thing
my right arm feels like it's about to fall off. i really shouldn't have bothered with the weights. in case you don't know, i'm attempting to lose a bit of my chubbyness because mom keeps bugging me about how fat i'm getting. i really have chubbied up and the pre-menstrual bloating isn't helping. so in order to shut her up about my lazy tee-vee-watching-junk-food-munching habits, i half-walked-half-ran 2.5km on the treadmill, lifted weights and attempted pilates. i don't think i ever want to go through that again. i much prefer sleeping on the treadmill or idly watch others exert unnecessary effort. my body is too accustomed to laziness. it's a wonder how i ever finished in the top10 during the 3.6km cross-country bullshit that all schools in singapore seem to deem necessary as a must-have event in their calendars. my stamina died upon graduating high school. i could barely run 400m today when i was once on a team that won gold for the 4x400m relay. i really am getting old. it's times like these that i really wish i kept up with sports. i think i could have done well if i really bothered to or at least even if i suck i wouldn't be all chubby faced now heh. there seems to be a pattern: i never do things to the best of my abilities. i just can't be bothered half-the-time. like the homework i'm supposed to be finishing. i can't be bothered with it and resulted to coming up with a stupidly-mediocre storyline which i have yet to expound on. it's a bullet-pointed story as of now. i think i'll finish it when i wake up. considering that i plan on writing a novel for my thesis, i really should have put a lot more effort into this assignment. i love the silly storylines my brother and i were bouncing off each other though. like how chandara, being poor and super skinny, is blessed with the ability to contort her body and thus is able to squeeze herself into the doctor's bag; the doctor then carries the bag out and therefore she lives. i'm being silly and stupid, and if you haven't read 'Punishment' by Tagore and thus weren't asked to continue the story so that Chandara doesn't die...you probably wouldn't understand what the heck i'm talking about. i blog a lot nowadays. my mind just wants to talk and talk and talk... 4:25 PM
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Wednesday, October 10, 2007
it rhymes with shmashmortion
i finally bothered to get my fat ass off the rocking chair and away from my beloved tee-vee to watch Knocked Up. i kind of regret watching it mostly because now i want to get knocked up - but hopefully with some guy i eventually will find oh-so-adorable (even if he may he hairy and overweight) and may even love. but then again, using sex to find love...what are the chances? guys who get girls pregnant are horny douche-bags who hasn't learned about the wonders of condom. i think if a guy (who i randomly met at a bar) has enough decency to put a condom on, he probably isn't half-bad and perhaps we'd even get along pretty well - once the odd after-sex period is over. because really, waking up next to some naked guy while a killer hangover scrapes the insides of your skull probably isn't the best scenario to be in. i imagine myself screaming obscenities at him for his obscenity. wonderful, now everyone's going to think i have sex with random strangers everyday. but would i really sleep with a random stranger just because i've had too much to drink? i don't think so. the more i drink, the sleepier i get and sleepy people don't go around asking for sex. in all honesty, i've never thought myself to be one who would save herself for marriage. i think i've always known that i'd lose it to someone i love even if he wouldn't become my husband. a cousin of mine, in her drunkenness, once said that it's senseless to save yourself for marriage (ok, she probably didn't use the word senseless). sex hurts, especially when it's your first time, so why would you want a million knives stabbing the insides of your vagina on your honeymoon? that just isn't romantic. honeymoon-sex should be beautiful. how can it be beautiful if the bride is squirming and screaming in pain (and if her hymen is yet to be torn - bleeding all over the expensive two million threadcount sheets). but i'm not saying that we should all go out and get some right at this very second. i think that's weird. sex should be special and doing it with some random guy just doesn't give you the pleasure sex should entail. if i ended up in bed with some weird-ass random guy i'd probably be more concerned with wondering who the hell he is and why the hell he's naked and on top of me rather than allowing myself to be lost in the heat. i think i shall stop talking about sex now. though sex really is such a fascinating subject, especially when people get offended by one's openness about it. look at me, talking about sex as if i have a sex-life. i really don't because i just don't think it's time yet. besides who am i going to do it with? --------------------------------------- i want to watch December Boys, not because Mr. Radcliffe apparently has a love scene there, but because i want to watch him portray someone other than my darling Harry Potter. i don't think i can see him (daniel radcliffe) as anything else until the potter movies are over though. i once saw a picture of mr. radcliffe shirtless and i almost died laughing. his pubic hair grows up his tummy just like zhenyang. i used to tease zhenyang about his weed-like pubic hair whenever we did road-shows for toys'r'us. he was in the cow mascot and i got to be the fairy-princess who dragged him around and when the show was over, we'd all retire to the backroom of whichever place we were performing at and he'd take off his sweaty shirt revealing his chubby belly with his weed-like pubes - a sight which always ignites my giggles. i'm mean. 4:27 PM
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Monday, October 8, 2007
and the only time i've touched you is in my sleep
the easiest way, i thought, to get over ex-boyfriends is to hate them with every ounce of my being. hate hate hate hate hate. it worked pretty well in the past. hating is a lot easier than accepting that he doesn't love you anymore - not in the way he used to anyway. i tried hating my current ex but i realized that it just isn't fair to him and the memory of us. i had this teeny tiny talk with a friend of mine where i accidentally let slip about what a moron my ex-boyfriend is and that he sucks and i hate him so much when my friend said "really?" and patted me on the back saying he doesn't believe me before walking away. which got me thinking. do i really hate him or am i just trying to convince myself that he's a moron just so it'd make this a lot easier to deal with. he really isn't a moron. he's probably one of the best things that happened to me. he made my transition to the philippines a lot easier and taught me that running blindly across the street will just get me killed. he dragged me onto jeepneys and stuffed my face with road-side food (which made me sick - i got food poisoning soon after). he made me feel every emotion possible and most of all he understood how much i missed my friends back home and would hug me whenever i got moody and homesick. how can i hate someone like that? how could i have allowed myself to get so low and treat him as if he had bashed my head against the wall everyday. he never touched me, he never could. he just doesn't love me anymore and i should just accept that. it isn't because he's a moron or a jerk or whatever...it's because sometimes feelings just fade. besides, deep down i know we never would have gone to the point of marriage. my parents abhor him and we both want different things in life. i want to marry a chef so i can eat good food everyday and he can't cook to save his life. heh. see, different. i make myself laugh. so i guess i am learning to accept that i'll be okay without him. some days it's hard because i've gotten accustomed to his presence. he's familiar and i crave familiarity. but do i crave his presence because i still love him? i don't think so. i don't love him in the manner that i used to. i love him like how i would love a friend. we always talked about the different levels of love and what i feel for him is nothing romantic. it sure took me a long time to get over him. ------------------------------------------------ i have a fever. i don't like having a fever. and i haven't read the readings for next week. i'm such a lazy lazy girl. i did read this horoscope thingy though. it said...
that probably explains why i go around picking up snails and cooing over chameleons. i still hate cockroaches, beetles, spiders, lizards, weird-ass flying insects and anything that is bug-like though. i don't think i can ever find those adorable. i once had a spider for a pet though. i was probably 8 years old when my brother and i found this teeny-tiny spider in our backyard. i'm can't remember which one of us picked it up but eventually it found itself in this plastic box. we named it webster - after the webster english dictionary. it died though. daddy killed it. he was placing leaves and stuff into the box when webster attempted to escape and daddy shut the box real fast which resulted in webster being squashed in half. i don't blame my dad for webster's death. it's stupid webster's fault. if only he hadn't tried to escape. i also once kept ants in this antfarm i begged my parents that i absolutely had to have. i was lazy to use the whole sugar syrup method in capturing them so i proceeded to squat beside this ant-hole (or whatever you call it) at our drive way and gently squashed the ants and threw them in the antfarm. i managed to capture quite a a few of them but they died soon after. i really shouldn't have squashed them. i also kept mealworms until i figured out that they turned into ugly black beetles. i think it was in primary 3 when we were somehow studying them for science and at the end of the lesson my teacher asked who wanted to keep some of the worms and my friends and i all raised our hands. surprisingly, it was the girls who scrambled forward first and my teacher started scooping the worms onto our hands. we were such freaks. anyways, i remember bringing the worms to school everyday because i didn't trust my mom - she might throw them away. my friends and i would then proceed to race our worms during recess. mine won most of the time. i forgot the name of my favorite worm though. pity. he was adorable too, until i woke up one day and found all my worms missing. i blame my brother's friend. he was sleeping right next to the worms. he probably ate them. heh. if you don't know how a mealworm looks like, here's a picture...  aren't they sexy? all my weird pets either die or run away. even when i had a hamster - which i think is a relatively normal pet - it HAD to run away. stupid chubby (my hamster was named chubby). i'm just not good with pets. see, even spike the snail ran out on me! i now have abandonment issues. i think i'll ask my mom if i can have a pet snail for christmas. ------------------------------------------------ apparently, i have to attend a relative's 75th birthday semi-formal ball somewhere along commonwealth next friday. there's going to be ballroom dancing and i have to wear a dress and heels. how nice. i think i can handle the ballroom dancing bit - though i much rather prefer to remain seated at the table while i stuff my fat face with food. i took ballroom dancing for my pe back in ngee ann poly in singapore. i only took it because i wanted to do my pe in an air-conditioned room. my partner and i were such fools. we laughed throughout our routine for finals. it's a miracle that we even passed that stupid subject. now the whole dress and heels thing i'm not so happy about. 10:02 AM
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Saturday, October 6, 2007
show me that i'm fighting for something
so i was asked a question on what's my criteria for knowing when a guy has a crush on me. silly question. i don't think anyone can really predict whether someone has a crush on them. i usually misinterpret stuff so i've decided not to bother with wondering about such stuff. they can crush on me all they want because after all everyone crushes me. haha. it's just not easy to put yourself out there. i rather remain content and in the moment where every stupid thing he does or says makes you all giddy-happy than have everything shatter due to rejection [i probably can describe this better but my brain is asleep]. i think i'm perfectly happy in my own make-believe world where i can pretend that he likes me back too. crushes are weird and hardly do they develop into anything more, so what is the point? i'm just too shy for my own good. it's even weirder/harder when you see him almost everyday. school-mate crushes are odd. but whatever, i'm just not the type of girl guys normally crush over. i'm the you-are-such-a-wonderful-girl-friend-that-sometimes-i-mistake-you-for-one-of-the-guys type of girl. i'm okay with that because i actually enjoy the company of guys more than the company of girls, but at times having them forget that you don't have a penis can be quite annoying. besides, when you know that he likes someone else, isn't it a sign that you should just leave him alone? robin said i should stop being shy and tell my former crushes that i used to like them. therefore, here is a list. if your name is there, i used to like you. i'll just list whoever i can remember. so there, i said it. good for me. ------------------------------------------ i now leave you with pictures from lasaret.   suicidal-pagan Lystra, quintessential-bunny Frans, growing-boy Wobs, medieval-homo Anthony, sensually-titillating Justin, thinker-bell Robin; for truth, love, and beauty; for God, country, Spike the snail, Oscar the octopus and Waldo the pussy. "it it finished in Beauty." - Navajo that was for our funny little time-capsule. 5 years from now, i think i'll still find that motto funny and probably will miss spike the snail even more as we open our time-capsule - if we even bother to. time for bed now. 4:40 PM
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Tuesday, October 2, 2007
you eclipsed by me
i'm sick and my head is throbbing. lasaret was interesting. tagaytay was pretty. anything is pretty when there's fog. i love fog. it gives a mystical quality to places because you don't see things as clearly as you normally would and thus your imagination runs wild with silly ideas of ghosts and creepy images of death. if you imagine it hard enough, you start really seeing it and eventually it'll drive you crazy - something which is always fun. but now the right half of my body is aching due to a little collision i had with a classmate where i practically bounced off his body like a rag-doll. well i'm not really sure if that's what happened because the next thing i knew i was on the floor whimpering like a poor little idiot, my right shoulder throbbing. perhaps i'm exaggerating a little. anyways aside from that, lasaret was kind of alright. not as horrible as i thought it would be. it didn't feel like a spiritual retreat though. maybe because i wasn't paying attention half the time and i was too sleepy to really care. my answers for everything were really laughable. for example, when asked to write down our deepest-most-thought-about questions on life, i wrote "which sandwich should i eat?" and when we were asked to vocalize our thanksgiving prayers i said, "thank you for my new pet spike the snail." silly really. i fear i may have disappointed or angered God because spike the snail went missing after that activity. boo. who is spike the snail? he's my new pet - or was my new pet. i lost him. i shall post pictures soon - once i steal them from my classmate. i better return to finishing my paper on Pedro Paramo now. 12:21 AM
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