here's a confession: i haven't bled in five months (i regard last month's one day spotting as my vagina's pathetic attempt at bleeding). i know i am not the biggest fan of the monthly menstrual mess but it does bother me that i haven't stuck a tampon up my vajayjay in months. it's just rather unsettling to never see blood in months. the bloody mess and i have bonded pretty well over the past nine years that i've been bleeding so i don't see why it should disappear on me now. sad.

i've been thinking of reasons behind its hiatus though:

#1: pregnancy
well this is the first thing i usually think of when my period's a few days late; but since no one wants to have sex with me lately, being pregnant is highly unlikely - and no, i haven't been drunk or drugged enough for someone to rape me yet. so there, not pregnant and yet not bleeding.

#2: stress
the tide first disappeared during thesis season and i think my body hated the amount of stress i imposed upon it that it is punishing me by refusing to ovulate and thus giving my uterus no reason to grow and shed the uterus lining. fail. in all seriousness though, i don't think i am stressed at all this semester so this may be quite unlikely.

#3: something's wrong with me
now this is very likely. my mother tells me everyday that something is wrong with me so i guess my body finally listened and decided to self-destruct on me. i won't really know if something is wrong with me until i get myself checked; but since i am a lazy lazy lazy girl, i can't bring myself to hop on a car, drive to the nearest fancy-pansy hospital and visit the gynecologist to have him/her poke his/her head up my vajayjay.


i guess as much as i hated the unsightly pimples, the unglamorous bloating, the psycho mood swings and the painful boobies, i really really really want - and need - to bleed out an ocean.