i'm roughly a bit more than a month away of continuous writing from finally finishing my novel and cannot help but be apprehensive about graduating from college because graduating would equate my need to pursue my Masters' overseas; and it just isn't helping that i am currently feeling insanely inept to even attempt to apply to some big-shot foreign school to pursue a path i love to death: mainly creative writing and literary discourse.

i just hate rejection. i hate setting my hopes so high only to realize my grades won't qualify me for admission or that i'm not qualified for scholarship and thus won't be able to go because it'll just be too damn expensive. i also hate how everything is made even scarier when my mother looked at me earlier today and told me that by next year i hopefully will be away gallivanting around another foreign town expanding my literary intellect instead of bumming around in the Philippines or Singapore.

maybe i should stop thinking about this. application period is still months away and we all know how often i change my mind about my life plans. i really wouldn't be surprised if i find myself declaring that i'm off to be in a circus come year end; but then again, i have an irrational fear of clowns, so that's probably not an option for me.

so i am just not going to over-think every bright idea that pops into my head regarding my life because right now, i should just concentrate on celebrating the fact that i have something sexy to tick off my list of things-to-do-before-i-die because i am finally getting published! i'm still not sure if it's considered "being published", but whatever, i'm just giggled at the fact that something i've written could even get included in an anthology.