sometime this week, amidst the smell of deodorizers and cleaning agents, i experienced that moment of intense numbing silence pressing around me on all sides as i watched my hands force soapy bubbles towards the reflection scowling back at me. it felt as if, if i could just stop breathing for that one moment - to hold on to a single inhale - i could perhaps let the silence consume me, to let it entomb my body, keeping me still. after all, when i stay still, i imagine the rest of the world keeping still along side me. it's like stopping time...but not really; because while i may remain still and silent, i am certain the faucet in front of me would continue to gush with water and the automated-deodorizer tacked up on the wall would continue to periodically mist the room in smells of roses and lemon-drops.

then again, maybe that is how it's supposed to be. no one can truly stop time, one can only take hold of their own individual moments and slow it down enough to live in this perfect solitary heightened existence, in which the only flaw is that one is not allowed breath. it was enticing to imagine all the possibilities of a heightened existence: to see, smell, touch, and feel everything for the first time again; and so i tried it. i held a breath full of roses and lemon-drops and felt everything else hold theirs.

it was amazing...aside from the burning in my chest from a breath held in too long.