socially disengaged meritocratic elite

Thursday, September 20, 2007

does he ask to take your hand

so i've moved. mostly due to my boredom with diaryland and my hatred for my username. there was actually a point during the the death of washed-sins that i almost (note: ALMOST) decided that i should never blog again.

you see, my head is sacred space and i think i was starting to tire of the idea that i'm giving everyone free access into my sacred space. i stay in my head a lot and it gets too crowded when everyone stuffs themselves in it, especially since i have such a tiny head (not really, i actually think my head's kind of big - physically anyways, not ego-wise). i like my space. i like dancing in my head, spinning, letting my arms go whichever way it chooses, kicking myself in the face...

but then again, i fear i might get lonely without a blog. because really, in all my retarded honesty, i think my blog's my best friend and i love it to bits - probably more than i love you. that just says something about me: that i really don't bother with actual human contact. only i am weird enough to regard something i can't even hug my best friend (ok, i may attempt to hug my screen but it's dusty, i might sneeze).

i feel all juvenile all of a sudden. i really am such a loser sometimes and i think i like it that way. this world needs to mix it up a bit. it's not about being the coolest, most well-liked person in the whole planet, it's about allowing yourself to dance without fear of others laughing. all those people, they just don't realize that at that moment, while you're spinning and getting lost in non-music, you feel content with the world because in that one instant you have allowed yourself to behave in a manner many fear to behave - and for that you're happy.

anyways, how can i aspire to be a writer if i don't allow my thoughts run wild on a blog. who knows, i might have some use for all this crap one day.

oh and i stole this layout. heh.

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from: http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/051230_barbie.html

"Just before Christmas, however, a team of British researchers announced that many young girls mutilate and torture their Barbie dolls. According to University of Bath researcher Agnes Nairn, "the girls we spoke to see Barbie torture as a legitimate play activity....The types of mutilation are varied and creative, and range from removing the hair to decapitation, burning, breaking, and even microwaving." The reason, Nairn said, was that girls saw Barbie as childish, an inanimate object instead of a treasured toy."

i did that to my barbie dolls. i used them to stir the legos in my brother's lego bin and to sweep the floor of my room. i never bothered much with the "oh my god ken, let's go to the mall in my brand new pink convertible and get my nails done and after we can have doll sex...blah blah blah," i much preferred to give them terrible haircuts, color their hair with whiteboard markers, crayon their faces, and then throw them against the wall. barbie wasn't much fun to play with, or maybe they were - in some odd sense.

i love polly pocket though. not the sissy polly pocket that's available now. those can't even fit in your pocket. i love the classic polly pocket and her tiny little house you can fold and keep snug in your jean pocket. i love those. i think i had a few of those, mom probably threw them away. anyways, i used to always carry my polly pocket everywhere i went. i once dropped her in the plane on the way to chicago and the kind air-stewardess returned her to me and gave me a pretty american airlines captain's pin. i love those pins. lost them though. i always lose things.

Labels: barbie, new blog, spin like a hobo

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