as much as i may want to try to fight it, there is just something in his embrace that i can't ignore.

but then again, he's my bandmate and we all know what happened to the last bandmate i dated.

screw emotional rollercoasters, they make me crazy. i think having had felt such deep-seeded betrayal (which turned to anger before eventually morphing into this psycho-numbness i've been dealing with for the past few weeks) pushed me to unconsciously crave for anything that made me feel something. right now, the only thing that really makes me respond to anything is alcohol and him. alcohol basically makes everything really funny while he makes me feel present once hallucinations from over-consumption arrive (so far, i've seen a million cats dance and frankly it's scary).

-------------------------

i finally bothered to look at my grades and all i can do is shrug.

the classics - 3.5
contemporary literature - 4.0
world literature II - 3.5
integrated earth science (lecture) - 2.0
integrated earth science (lab) - 3.0
GPA = no idea

...one big effin' shrug.

i'm leaving for Baguio tomorrow. see you fools when i get back.

and Merry Christmas - though i don't see what's so merry about it.