i'm supposed to finish 4 essays in filipino by tomorrow but i just can't bring myself to start them; mostly because my attempt at reading filipino gave me a headache (and since i have yet to read the readings, how can i expect myself to write the essays). it's times like these when i wish that the ex-bf's still around for me to cuddle-and-whine-and-pout into doing my filipino assignments.

i'm annoyed at myself for being so bad at my supposed native tongue. everyone should read the first sentence of my essay, it reeks of bad grammar and psychotic syntax - makes for great laughter.

help.

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when my heart feels heavy and my stomach is all in knots, i down a whole tub of ice cream and munch on chocolate chips - that's all i've been doing for the past few days. but no matter how much sugar i consume, i still can't rid myself of this nonsense - despite having decided long ago to keep away from him (other than the necessary contact that is required of us). i hated feeling vulnerable and i still can't believe he fed on that.

...and 5th attempt to quit. wish me luck.