nobody seems to believe me, but since i've been feeling a lot more stupid after losing a gazillion brain-cells during the major blackout i recently experienced due to my excessive partying, i have decided to finally get relatively clean - not for some stupid boy (like what i would do in the past) but because i want to. i tried getting clean for a boy once because he couldn't accept that side of me and i was too insecure a moron to understand that if a boy cannot accept me as a whole he is definitely not worth my time. that didn't work. i spent 2 years pretending i was somebody else. that was just plain stupid. but now, for once, i'm getting clean on my own. i just don't like what i become when under various influences.