moving on. i thought it was about time that i jumped on the Twilight^click bandwagon just to see what all the craze was about, so i borrowed a copy of the book from a friend and spent the whole of Friday (the friend was right, i could finish the book in less than a day) immersed in the images of Bella and Edward.

my apologies to avid fans of the book (i personally know a few) but i shall now lambaste that damn novel even if i don't make much sense.

so, the language and level of craft applied was simple, pretty easy enough for just about anyone to comprehend, and that was greatly disappointing - especially since i couldn't help but compare Meyers against Rowling (i'm not referring to their subject matter because obviously i am well aware that the stories are completely different - i'm not stupid). i guess having watched too many reviews of the book on youtube and having read a few articles online and constantly getting bombarded with the phrase: the next Harry Potter, made me think that perhaps it was on-par craft wise with the whole Harry Potter series. sure, Rowling isn't exactly the best writer in the world, but for a children's book author she has a pretty good grasp of her craft, being able to weave through the world she has created seamlessly without romanticizing it nor reducing it to a mere fantasy.

Twilight on the other hand was written in such a way that made me want to gag ever so often. ok, the gagging thing was probably brought about by my inability to be remotely romantic to anyone therefore being unable to understand why the hell anyone would bother spouting lines like "you are my life" or "i love you" ever darn second; but seriously, i don't understand why half the book had to be devoted to developing their sickening love story - sentimental much?

but seriously, i get that Edward is supposed to be the perfectly handsome vampire who can do no wrong and blessed with a million talents, but that is taking things a bit too far don't you think? even Dumbledore, touted as the greatest wizard of all time, has visible flaws that made his character endearing. Edward just made me sick. no one is handsome enough to make a girl faint when he kisses her or cause a girl to experience minor heart attacks whenever he draws too close, that's just sickeningly over-the-top. but ok, maybe Meyer really wanted such a handsome drool worthy vampire as the male lead; but seriously, did she have to mention it every single time? i got so sick of having to read how Bella still can't get over how perfect Edward is - like a an angel carved in stone (gag) - and how she can't understand how he could fall for a klutz like her that it almost made me want to pull Bella out of the book and stuff feminist theories down her pathetic little whiny throat.

Bella, the annoyingly needy, dependent and sentimental character, is the anti-thesis of every strong independent female character ever created throughout the history of literature and will now cause millions of girls/women to be so pathetically weak that they all deserve to be run over by a truck (i'm obviously exaggerating a bit too much here). in my opinion, she just helped obliterate any trace of feminist thought - no matter how minute it may be - from the minds of the teens obsessed with the book. i expect almost every girl, who have read the book, to have fallen hard for Edward and wishing that they would soon find their own version of Edward just so they can be sickeningly happy and throw their life away, because after all, love (as portrayed by Meyer) is about turning to your darling and saying "you are my life now" (gag - again). granted, Bella does seem to possess a few strong traits (i guess?), but all that is canceled out because her mind can never seem to think of anything but Edward.

oh Edward i love you, i hope you love me too, don't ever leave me...what? you went home to change while i was asleep?! you were supposed to watch me sleep all night!
[this is not an actual quote from the book stupid.]

screw you Twilight, fucking waste of braincells.

i could probably bore you more by continuing this rant but i shan't bother because i've got schoolwork to catch up on and blogging isn't helping. i'm just going to say one last condescending thing though: Meyer, please work on your craft, it's unbelievably choppy. i suggest spending less time sentimentalizing every damn thing.

i have no shame, look at me criticizing as if i'm a bona fide critic/writer.
i'm still going to watch the movie though, the trailer seems interesting enough.

...my birthday is fast approaching and that means my thesis due date is drawing near. oh no.