no matter how mature i'm supposed to be about all this, this deterioration of the family unit still tortures me everyday; and sometimes the immense pressure to pretend everything is okay makes me just want to stay in bed the whole day and never wake up.

2 weeks of staying home is killing me. i'm officially burned out from being the messenger between the parents, from entertaining the siblings like a stupid clown, and from pretending that i can take it all; and it's not helping that i haven't been able to talk to someone weeks.

whatever.

i can't wait to leave for Singapore now. i am so sick of handling all these messy relationships.
total failures all of you. for once, i really would like everyone to stop abandoning me.